Linger
by air du temps
Summary: Implied Tendershipping. One-shot. A series of the Spirit's disjointed memories showing his relationship with his Host, from the beginning to his descent into madness.


Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh

I suggest you do your own research to get a better idea, but here are some basic explanations:

Sheut: A person's shadow. Believed to contain a part of the person/a part of the soul.

Akh: It's the soul beyond death, becoming a new "living entity." Similar to a ghost and could affect the living negatively or positively.

I've re-written this one-shot one too many times. I don't think I'll ever find what's lacking; this will probably be as close as it gets for me.

Enjoy~

* * *

I saw the world again after five thousand years. Ra has died and born over a million times, and I? Well, I slept in the shadows for an eternity. Half-dead, half-puppet.

Was this to be my curse as an Akh? Yet, I did not receive the proper burial rites. No one cared for a heretic thief who died in battle.

If this was my re-awakening, then I had lost my Sheut...

* * *

This room was nothing like I'd ever witnessed. Still, I don't remember experiencing much so my comparisons are non-existent.

A small, white haired boy was hunched over a table, scribbling. On the table, the Millennium Ring glimmered in the sunlight.

The Ring, the one true thing I was confident in knowing.

I approached my item, my Ring. It called to me, the rightful owner. The boy would not see me.

Reaching out, my hand was translucent, wanting to grab the Ring. This solid object belonged to me. However, nothing could prepare me for my current predicament; my spectral hand went right through it.

I growled in frustration.

The white head looked up.

The boy would not see me.

Eyes widened in fear.

The boy would not see me.

Mouth agape.

The boy saw me.

No cry came though. The only sound heard was his stylus dropping.

Was I really to face a small child?

When the sounds came, incomprehensible, I knew instantly this was not a language I was familiar with.

I disrupted our staring match by taking in my surroundings. The boy looked even more confused, tilting his head in awe as he ceased to speak. Whatever semblance of fear he had vanished.

Everything was foreign. The only thing I knew for sure is that I was bound to the Ring, constantly feeling its pull. I would have to stay by the child.

* * *

"_Who is that, respectable Landlord?" _I asked through our link.

We were in the middle of a lesson at my Host's new school. I paid little attention to any of my Host's peers, but this one stood out.

"_That's Yugi. Why? Do you plan on hurting him too?" _he snapped, hating interruptions in the middle of class.

"_Nevermind."_ The kid had a way of upsetting me lately, especially when he seemed annoyed by my existence.

_Ungrateful. _

My Host has become less amicable as of late. I couldn't fathom why. I gave him whatever he wanted? I only asked for moments to appease my restlessness. He could never understand my fate.

* * *

"This is called a refrigerator," Ryou was pointing at one of the many strange contraptions, "it keeps food cold."

"Why?" I asked, like I usually did during our lessons. It had been over a year since I first appeared in this new life.

"So that the food doesn't spoil." The kid smiled brightly.

"Spoil?" I repeated the newest word of the day.

"It means when something goes bad. Like when an apple rots," Ryou explained.

"Ah."

The first few months were rather bizarre. The boy would see me, I would see the boy. We could not talk. We lived in an unusual truce, both helpless.

The few attempts at communication yielded nothing, till one day Ryou decided to teach. It took a few tries until I caught on that the pointing and repetition was a lesson, a lesson in Japanese. Apparently, the world had an abundance of languages; one that would allow me to converse with the boy was a start.

Otherwise, I was lost in the future.

I could barely remember anything beyond warm sands, the Ring, and agony. The pain was usually dulled to an internal ache whenever I wandered too far from the Ring. This Ring was so important to me, yet it left me feeling incomplete. My three most prominent memories were beyond puzzling, as if my amnesia was at war with itself.

Lost in my reflections, I did not notice the other mortal returning to his home.

"Father!" The boy smiled brightly.

His father nodded. The only acknowledgement was a small pat on Ryou's head as he walked past him.

The boy looked crestfallen, again. Many times I had watched this scene. Ryou was an extremely lonely child with a very distant father. I felt..._bad_ for the kid, something my conscious was fiercely trying to drown out.

The father had left the kitchen, but Ryou remained where he stood, staring at the floor.

I reached out to give him a comforting squeeze on the shoulder, only to be reminded of my predicament as my ethereal hand went right through the boy. The kid didn't even notice. It was in moments like these that I cursed my limitations. I wish I could change things.

I was incredibly hopeless in these trivial situations, unable to touch a strand of hair, but somehow, I was destined to be an earth-shattering catalyst.

* * *

"You're such a pretty boy. Have you ever noticed that, Ryou?" Taunting my Host was always better with the apocalypse on the horizon.

"I'm not a boy anymore," he replied calmly, eyes closed as he took in a silent breath. He regarded me with a stern stare when he opened them again. "What did you do this time?"

"Don't you see none of it matters?" My grin could easily be mistaken for a sneer.

Truth be told, I was ecstatic. Things were finally beginning to make sense. The dark fog plaguing my mind was taking shape into my goals, discernible goals. I had most of the Items in my possession now. Things were falling into place. I could congratulate myself; my accomplishments thus far felt extremely pleasant. Stealing those Items was the best decision of my life!

What I did was of no consequence...dearest Landlord Ryou never noticed much beyond my insane cackling.

* * *

"Spirit, if it wasn't for you, I would be alone right now."

"Huh?" I looked up from my musings at the sudden declaration. Ryou wore a small smile.

"I mean, well, you know my father isn't around much." He was wringing his hands nervously. "And my mother and sister are...the day you appeared, I was writing a letter to Amane. I really miss her; she was my best friend. I really wanted her back...but then you appeared," he admitted.

"Oh." I wasn't quite sure how to respond. The kid was smiling, yet he just said he was wishing for his sister?

"Yeah, it was weird at first. I thought maybe they had sent the wrong person, but you look a lot like me. That was really weird too."

I wanted to ask who was _they_, but something else struck me.

"We look alike?" I asked. Given, I couldn't even remember my own name, little less appearance. Plus, ghosts don't have reflections.

"Yup," Ryou confirmed with a nod. "Your hair's crazier, but you still look like a big version of me. Maybe I'll look just like you when I grow up?" The kid continued to smile.

"Ah, maybe," I replied, unsure.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really like you. You're my favourite part of the day. It's always better to come home when you're around," the boy added more shyly now.

I was touched, a sharp shock to my soft side. I didn't think the kid liked me _that_ much.

I wanted to give the kid a hug, it felt appropriate, but I knew I couldn't. It was the first time I felt..._like this_ for as long as I could remember, and I couldn't even give a simple hug. Instead of feeling my usual misplaced rage, the anger that dwelled in me was no longer mysterious. I was upset at my lack of mortality, something I usually revered.

"I like it when you come home too, kid. It's boring without you," I offered a faint smile of my own. Ryou beamed.

* * *

"_Why are you mad at me?" _I inquired.

"You keep hurting people," my Host answered aloud. He was painting his newest diorama.

"You have a strange way of wording my protection," I spoke as well. The walls would get to hear our conversation too.

Flicking his paintbrush over a minute detail, my Host spoke slowly, "Beating up my childhood bullies was one thing, but you've already went overboard before with _Monster World_. And now you're doing it, _again_. I listen to the news, Spirit. I know duelists are being hospitalized due to injuries not uncommon to you."

"Oh? You're so certain it's me?"

"Well, you did stab _me_ during the last tournament-"

"I did no such thing!" I cut him off.

"Don't lie; I know it was you!" he impatiently snapped, paintbrush steady in his hand. "Plus, I wake up to the scrapes and bruises you bring upon my body. I'm certain it has something to do with you."

"I give you companionship and this is how you repay me?"

"Your companionship has greatly morphed," he declared, putting down his brush.

* * *

"Can you talk to other spirits?" Ryou suddenly asked in the midst of his studying.

We'd been together for nearly two years now, together in our own unusual circumstances, linked to each other.

"I've never met any other..._spirits_," I replied. I still wasn't entirely sure what I was.

"Do you know about Ouija or Tarot?" the kid persisted.

"Not a clue."

"They're occult instruments. Ouija can be used to contact the dead. I was wondering if you could help me...find Amane," Ryou asked hesitantly, head down.

I proceeded delicately for such a sensitive request.

"I can try...but there's no guarantee," I offered.

"I know. Trying is enough," Ryou smiled meekly, lifting his head to meet my eyes.

* * *

My Host was always a good distraction from my brooding. The seething deep inside had no outlet, but it could be temporarily quelled.

A sense of urgency pervaded my senses too, the thief in me needed to steal, but I couldn't. The Ring was within my reach though. It was as good as mine, figuratively speaking. Maybe that Puzzle would do a better job of assuaging my moods than my dependable Landlord? Something in my clouded memories told me it would be the case.

For now, I only had _dearest Ryou_.

"Host?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm bored."

"So?"

"We should go to Duelist Kingdom."

"How? I didn't even qualify," my Host replied, shaking his head at what he probably considered to be my mad ideas.

I laughed, still so innocent. "Do you really think that's going to stop me?"

* * *

I found purpose to my strange purgatory.

Holding that glistening_ eye_ in my hand had felt..._wonderful._

Ever since my Host moved to Domino, my murky past began to have some semblance of clarity.

Thievery was definitely a part of me. _My__ essence._ It appeared to intermingle well with my anger too, that unknown revenge that nagged my mind. _I__ needed to fulfill something. _

My Host noticed as well, the shift in my demeanor. He was almost wary of me.

It was easier to keep him in the dark, even if it wasn't my ideal choice.

"Spirit?" the teenager spoke.

"Hmm?"

"You're not going to cause any more trouble are you? Not more than you already have..."

I flinched, disliking the edge to those words and the implication of disappointment. _Why couldn't he see things my way?_

"Depends on what you call trouble," was my vague, but confirming response.

"I see," he replied carefully.

"Why are you being this way? You used to trust me, _Ryou_," I finally spoke, risking my own sentiments on the line, the only sentiments I ever had.

"I wish you didn't cause pain," the teenager whispered.

"I'd never deliberately cause _you_ pain." It was the best I could do; any other promise to my Host would be empty.

"There are more pains than that kind."

"I know..."

* * *

The first time I betrayed Ryou was at school.

I had finally convinced Ryou to wear the Ring, thus being able to go everywhere with him, no longer confined to the home.

We were both, frankly, too alone without each other.

It was on one of these daily excursions that I had come to learn the kid was a loner. Alone at school. Alone at home. Until I came along.

Ryou could also be the target of ridicule.

Maybe it was all the pent up anger, maybe I didn't want to see the kid hurt, but I ended up spending an exponential amount of time telling the boy to stand up for himself.

It infuriated me to see those brats get away with it. _How badly I wanted to teach them a lesson. _

_I still wasn't sure what my ire wanted, but these bullies would do for now?_

At that particular moment, the leader was getting rather aggressive with Ryou.

I stood on the sidelines shouting at the kid, while the bully was yelling words of his own.

I probably wasn't helping, but I couldn't stop myself.

And then, the first shove happened.

"I'LL HANDLE IT MYSELF!" I exclaimed at the scared child.

Suddenly, a pull. A tug. An odd sensation of transition. A brief look of surprise flashed across Ryou's face.

I was no longer on the ghostly edge, I was in control.

"_What's happening!?" _I heard Ryou's voice in my head.

"_It appears that we are more connected through the Ring than I thought."_

"_What does that mean? Where am I?"_

"_You are in the Ring while I'm in control of your body. Don't worry. It won't be for long."_

* * *

We had drifted apart so much; the Ryou I once knew was a stranger to me.

Everything I did was disappointing to Ryou. _Wrong_.

I had become the teenager's source of sadness, something I had vowed to never do.

_I was supposed to fix it!_

Couldn't Ryou see how important my goals were? I wasn't being cruel without reason.

Gaining the Millennium Items was a _need_, it came from my core. No emotion _that_ _strong_ could be false.

* * *

I sat on the ledge of the bed, tense and clenching the sheets.

The Ring hung around my neck, heavy, containing Ryou.

It was one of those nights where my emotions became unbearable and I choked.

What had happened so long ago? My Host was different...now he was weak. Weak because of me. I did this to Ryou._ I__ ruined him._

I ruined his life.

Complacent as ever, Ryou was banished to his soul room waiting for me to allow him to live _in his own body!_

I could never be a source of comfort. Only terror.

With a frustrated growl, I abruptly punched the wall beside me.

Bruising. Soreness. Pain. Scrapes. Faint blood. Pain.

Always pain, pain that Ryou endured. Never his own. Always consequences of me. This was all I could give Ryou.

And despite everything, at least it was lasting. At least, it was a real sensation. Not something that went away the moment we switched.

I could never touch him. Ryou could never feel me. But at least this, this he would feel. This pain I caused was transferable, the only physical interaction between us.

Ryou would never see it that way, and I could not explain.

It was a gift.

A gift from me.

* * *

"I would destroy worlds if only to touch you." _And kiss you._

My Host stiffened. "That doesn't sound very appealing," he hesitantly replied.

My eyes narrowed. Even if I was semi-transparent, I could still send a solid chill down his spine. "Why the hell not? Maybe I should show you what real destruction is!" My eyes poignantly averted towards the figurine he had been carefully working on lately.

Sure, it was to be used for my ultimate duel with _the Pharoah_, but my Host could remake them by then.

His eyes widened in fear as his mouth took on an uncomfortable clench. "Don't. Not that one. It's my favourite."

"Pray tell why should I be merciful to your request when you barely acknowledge my own sweet gestures?"

He paused, contemplated on whether he should answer me or not. "Because that one's your figurine. It's you."

I froze.

* * *

_Numb._

* * *

Disjointed memories were all that remained of my Host.

I felt incomplete and wondered if it was all a bad dream.

I used to scorn the Gods, but now I fear to meet Anubis's scales.

* * *

"Ryou," I spoke softly.

The young man jumped.

"You're back," was his blank reply.

I shrugged.

"How come Atem moved on? I thought he destroyed you."

"Well it's nice to see you too, kid." I crossed my arms.

"I'm not a kid anymore."

"I know," I sighed, "it appears a tortured soul like myself has no place to rest, unlike that precious Pharoah." Usually my tone would have held more contempt, but I was tired. After five thousand years, and no Zorc to fuel my anger, I was simply exhausted.

"Tortured soul? Don't make me laugh, you goddamn hypocrite," Ryou spat out.

I flinched. I knew it was coming, but still I flinched.

"Do you not think I suffered enough, living in a relic made from the blood of my restless relatives?"

"And what's so different now?" He raised a sceptical brow.

"I'm no longer bound to it, or at least, the part of me that was bound to it is dead."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"I expect very little."

"As do I."

"I'm here to make amends, Ryou."

"It's too late for that," he spoke decisively.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, genuine regret lacing my voice.

"It will take more than a sorry. What did you expect? Did you think I would be happy? Why did you even come to me?" the young man was surprisingly ruthless in his delivery. It stung more than I would like to admit.

"You're all I know," I simply answered.

Ryou appeared to falter, before hardening his expression again. "So, you'll haunt me forever?"

"No. I won't stay where I'm so unwanted. I know better."

Ryou paused for a second, before clenching his fist and angrily shouting. "Why did you stay before? Were you that obsessed with the damn Millennium Items that you didn't care if you were unwanted back then!?"

"There's a reason you bore the Ring. It was meant to be your Ring, as that Ring was meant to be mine. I couldn't leave the Ring back then, even if I wanted to."

"What kind of fucking cryptic answer is that!?" The living man's agitation was escalating as he felt his sanity slipping between his fingers, anger overtaking him.

"It means that the part of me bound to that cursed Item is no more. This time I really am a ghost, maybe an Akh. The connection we had is lost, or weakened. Without the Ring, there's nothing binding us."

He remained quiet, his lips pressed into a thin line.

"It also means that I came to you by choice today."

Various emotions flashed across Ryou's face; all he could muster was sneer at me in response.

"Did you expect me to tell you I had twisted desires and enjoyed making you suffer?" I asked incredulously. "I never wanted to do that to you, not consciously..."

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean?"

"It means that I was possessed; my revenge was played upon and my goals manipulated. My own tormented past became an entity of its own, falling prey to darker beings. The urge to gain the Items... I don't expect you to understand. If I had complete control over myself, I wouldn't have gone to the extents that I did back then. I liked you back then, and I still do, Ryou. That's why I came back as myself. No Ring pulling me. No ulterior motives," I quietly explained. My fighting with Ryou was done.

"Do you seriously think I'll believe that?" Ryou chocked out, his eyes wide and filled with frustrated tears.

"Why would I lie to you?" I tilted my head, the sincerity causing the other man to snap.

"BECAUSE YOU'VE ALWAYS LIED TO ME!" Ryou pointed an accusing finger. "_You shouldn't even be here._" The cold words stung my dead form.

"You're right. I should have died with them long ago. It would have saved everyone the trouble. Who the fuck cares about some deviant orphan and his mad stories, right?"

Ryou's mouth tightened, his expression unreadable.

"I only wish I could disappear," I replied, glaring. My own emotions were revealing themselves.

"You're a liar," the living one finally said.

"I'm not."

"You're lying. You're toying with me right now."

_Have I ruined him that much?_

"I'm not lying. All I ever wanted was to make your life better. I could never succeed at it."

"YOU'RE LYING!" the young man cried out, shaking as tears spilled.

I gave him a melancholic smile. "You'll never believe me, huh? I guess I'll leave now."

"What!?"

I raised an eyebrow at the sudden concern on the young man's face. "That's what you want. For me to leave you alone, forever."

Ryou looked around desperately, as if delirious from their entire exchange. Uncertainty mingled with every other conflicting sentiment that battled for his attention. "You're going to leave? Just like that? You can't just...YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS TO ME! STOP MESSING WITH ME, SPIRIT!"

"I'm not. Not anymore."

"You're fucking with me. All you do is come into my life and fuck with me!"

"Ryou," I whispered sadly.

"How dare you come into my life! How _dare_ you try to feed me this bullshit and leave! You're leaving me to pick up the pieces alone from _your_ disaster!"

"You hate me. You want me gone, don't you?" I asked, trying to make sense of his outburst.

Ryou clenched his hair, a frustrated cry ripped his throat as he crouched into a ball.

_After all these years, was this Ryou finally expressing his pent up rage?_

"I despise you," the living man hissed.

I was at a loss.

Ryou seemed to have calmed down, the eye of his storm. His tone placid and voice level, he spoke, "Whether you're here or not, I'm still left to suffer your consequences. Your disappearance won't fix anything."

"My presence won't fix anything either. I'll only be a constant reminder..."

"If you leave, you're abandoning me._ You'll be abandoning me._ But, I can't bear to look upon your face."

"It's better if I go then," I replied, my gaze drifting to the floor.

Silence passed between us.

"Don't fucking leave me again. You always left me in the dark," Ryou declared. The control was slipping, emotions seeping out. "Spirit?"

"Yes?"

"Don't go."

_Stay._


End file.
